More Than Games: What to Look for in a Children’s Ministry

By Michael Scheele and Christine Temko-Scheele

A child can attend church every week, enjoy the activities, and spend years in a program without developing a clear understanding of who God is or what it means to have a personal relationship with Him.

As parents, we should take that possibility seriously. Teaching our children God’s Word and pointing them toward Christ is first and foremost our responsibility; But we also need a church that supports us in that work.

Recent Christian coverage about reaching Generation Alpha has emphasized genuine relationships alongside biblical teaching. That gives families a worthwhile question to consider: What should we look for in a children’s ministry that helps our children know God and grow in their faith?

Christine and I believe the answer includes a clear spiritual purpose, room for honest questions, and caring leaders who help children connect Scripture to their lives.

Look for a Clear Spiritual Purpose

When choosing a church to call home, take time to understand its children’s and youth programs.

We’ve seen popular programs that offer little to distinguish them from an ordinary after-school activity. Children enjoy games, sports, snacks, and friendships, but the spiritual purpose can be difficult to identify.

A children’s ministry should offer ministry at their level. It should reach them, engage them, excite them, and encourage their relationship with God.

Fun can be a valuable part of that work. Games can help children become comfortable, build friendships, and participate in learning. What matters is whether the program also gives meaningful attention to Scripture, prayer, and the Gospel.

Ask the leaders what children are learning and how they teach it. Look beyond attendance and enthusiasm. Are children being helped to understand who God is, why they need the Saviour, and what it means to follow Him?

Then consider how you can continue those lessons at home. Ask your child what they learned. Open the passage together. Give them opportunities to talk about it throughout the week.

Look for Teaching That Welcomes Questions and Reaches rthe Heart

Children today encounter competing claims from many directions. Parents, teachers, friends, videos, and online personalities can offer very different answers to the same question.

We shouldn’t assume a child understands or accepts biblical truth simply because an adult explained it.

A good ministry welcomes sincere questions and helps children find answers in God’s Word. Leaders should be willing to listen, explain patiently, and admit when they need to study something further. Parents should do the same.

Teaching should also help children understand the personal significance of Scripture. Talk about the emotions, actions, and consequences in a biblical account, while consistently returning to two questions:

• What does this teach us about God?
• What does this teach us about our relationship with God?

Those questions help move the lesson beyond remembering names and events.

Christine and I know from our own experiences that biblical knowledge and personally trusting Christ aren’t the same thing.

An older woman walked Christine through the Gospel and led her to the Lord when she was nine. She received considerable support, with her mother and senior pastor becoming especially influential in her spiritual life.

My experience was different. I received a lot of head knowledge, but no heart knowledge. I walked, and then ran, away from God. Thankfully, He never let me go. He put  Major Daniel Simmons in my path to help turn me around. If my math is right, I was about thirty-three when I was born again.

That experience shapes what I hope children receive from ministry today: a clear understanding of the Gospel, opportunities to ask honest questions, and encouragement to respond personally to Christ.

Look for Leaders Who Genuinely Listen

Children don’t need adults to imitate them or chase every trend. They need adults who are genuine and genuinely listen.

Notice whether leaders learn children’s names, remember their interests, and make room for conversation. Open-ended questions can help a young person explain what matters to them rather than simply give the expected answer.

Sometimes those conversations flow more easily during an activity that doesn’t require constant eye contact. Working on a project or helping set something up can give a child room to talk without feeling put on the spot.

The purpose of getting to know a child is to understand how to minister to them. A leader who listens may discover a fear, a misunderstanding, or a question that would otherwise remain unspoken.

Parents can support these relationships by communicating relevant needs and asking their children about their experiences. We should remain involved while allowing trusted ministry leaders to become another source of biblical encouragement.

Look for Thoughtful Ways to Include Quiet Children

Pay attention to how a ministry includes children who don’t naturally draw attention to themselves.

A quiet child may be listening carefully even when they rarely speak. Calling on them repeatedly in front of the group may make participation harder. A smaller responsibility, such as passing out papers or helping arrange supplies, may be a better beginning.

Good leaders watch, learn, and offer manageable opportunities. They allow confidence to develop without expecting every child to become outgoing.

I remember a child who was initially quiet but eventually became comfortable enough to lead a silly-time activity. That won’t be every child’s path, and it doesn’t need to be. Each child should have room to learn and participate.

Parents have a supporting role here, too. Avoid pressuring your child to perform or introducing them as “the shy one.” If unfamiliar settings make them anxious, explain the agenda beforehand and identify a particular leader they can approach for help.

Knowing whom to ask can be much more reassuring than simply hearing, “Talk to an adult.”

Look for a Church That Values Faithful Examples

Children’s ministry benefits from a congregation that takes young people’s spiritual lives seriously.

That doesn’t mean every Christian should become a children’s teacher. God gives different gifts. Some believers teach, while others encourage, organize, serve, or support the work in other ways.

What matters is using those gifts faithfully and responding to the opportunities God places before us. Even outside a formal ministry role, we can learn a child’s name, offer encouragement, answer a question thoughtfully, and model Christian conduct.

Young believers can also become examples themselves.

“Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.”

1 Timothy 4:12, KJV

Paul’s instruction to Timothy reminds us to take the faith and conduct of young believers seriously. We should help children understand that following Christ has meaning for how they live today.

Take the Next Step Together

When evaluating a children’s ministry, look for clear biblical teaching, patient answers, genuine relationships, and thoughtful opportunities for every child to participate. Those qualities can help a church support the spiritual work parents begin at home.

This week, ask your child what they’re learning at church and what questions they still have. Speak with a ministry leader about how you can reinforce those lessons. Set aside time to open Scripture together.

We want our children to enjoy coming to church. Above all, we want them to know the Lord, understand His Word, and learn to follow Him. Our attention, our example, and our partnership with a faithful church can help them take those steps.