A Christian Marriage Is More Than a Christian Label

By Michael Scheele & Christine Temko-Scheele

What difference does Christian faith make in a marriage?

A recent Institute for Family Studies report, highlighted by WORLD on October 2, offers encouraging findings. Among married adults surveyed, 74% of churchgoing Protestants described their marriages as very or extremely happy, compared with 66% of nonreligious spouses. Prayer, shared values, and commitment were also associated with stronger marriages. These findings describe relationships between faith and marital well-being, rather than proving that church attendance causes happiness.

For us, the deeper question is how our faith changes the way we treat the person we married.

A New Life Should Change How We Love

New Creations Faith grew out of New Creations Woodcraft. Both take their name from a promise in Scripture:

“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”

2 Corinthians 5:17, KJV

Through Christ, we can leave our past behind and begin a new life. Our sin, shame, and guilt don’t have to define our future.

But leaving behind our sin also means turning away from it. A new life in Christ calls us to surrender the worldly habits we once accepted.

“Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin.”

Romans 6:6, KJV

There’s a difference between professing belief and following Jesus. Genuine faith changes us, even as we continue growing and struggling.

Church attendance can provide fellowship, instruction, and opportunities to serve. It can also become something we do simply because we think we’re supposed to.

Following Christ reaches into our homes. It affects how we listen, handle disappointment, admit fault, and love our spouse when loving requires us to deny ourselves.

Put God First, Especially When Feelings Run High

Putting God first means everything to both of us.

Many marital arguments involve pride in some form. Hurt feelings, anger, and jealousy can draw our attention toward how we’ve been affected. We become so concerned with defending ourselves that we stop listening.

When we’re both seeking to serve and please God, we have a reason to examine our own hearts.

Are we trying to understand each other? Are we making assumptions? Does our response honor the Lord?

Does that mean we never argue? Of course not.

We still let our feelings get ahead of our judgment. But over time, we’ve become better at listening, asking questions, and checking our assumptions. We pray for each other and with each other.

Our faith gives us a place to return when we get things wrong. We can acknowledge our failure, ask forgiveness, and begin again.

Learn What Matters Most to Your Spouse

One conversation has strengthened our marriage considerably. We asked each other:

What three qualities matter most to you in a husband or wife?

That question helped us understand what each of us most needs from the other.

For Michael, Christine’s answer provided a clear foundation: be dependable, remain truthful and trustworthy, and make sure she feels safe.

He won’t get everything right. But those priorities give him something concrete to consider in his words, promises, and decisions.

Have this conversation with your spouse. Listen carefully, and ask what those qualities look like in everyday life. Dependability might mean following through on a promise. Feeling safe might include being able to voice a concern without being mocked or shouted down.

Knowing what matters most helps us love with greater intention.

Seek Wisdom Without Discrediting Each Other

Scripture provides guidance for money, parenting, and our responsibilities toward one another. When we disagree about how to apply it, wise counsel from a pastor or mature elder can help.

Seek understanding together where possible.

There’s a difference between honestly asking for help and gathering friends to take your side. Speaking unkindly about your spouse may win sympathy, but it can damage trust long after the disagreement ends.

Describe the problem truthfully and take responsibility for your own part. Protecting your spouse’s dignity doesn’t require concealing harm or avoiding necessary help.

The goal is to understand what’s right and act on it.

There Is Hope for a Fresh Start

If your marriage is struggling, these findings shouldn’t become another reason to feel like a failure.

There is hope. Each day provides an opportunity to put God first and consider how you can become a better husband or wife.

You can’t control your spouse’s choices. You can examine your own conduct, pray for patience and understanding, and practice what God teaches.

Change may take time. Your efforts may not receive an immediate response, and they can’t guarantee another person’s change. Keep seeking the Lord and doing what’s right.

“Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 4:6–7, KJV

Bring your marriage to God. Bring Him your fears, frustrations, and the faults you’re reluctant to acknowledge.

Then take a faithful step today: listen more carefully, keep your word, apologize sincerely, or ask your spouse what they need from you.

A Christian marriage grows as we allow Christ to change how we live and how we love.